It's been quite some time since I last wrote here. In fact, for a while, I thought I'd never be back. That I wouldn't find the courage or motivation. Or simply, that I'd never be able to go back to my old usual self.
But this past week, I've caught myself signing in, wanting to say something, but not knowing where to start from.
The past few months have been the worst of my life. I lost almost everything that mattered to me in my life.
One after another and I felt myself being stripped.
But right now, I finally feel like I'm coming up for air after this shitty period of my life. Friends and families haven't seen me depressed, but deep down I know I am a mess. Most days, I look at the mirror and I don't even recognize myself. The emotional, transparent girl that I was has become an almost cold-hearted woman with protective walls up to the roof. I am not proud of what I've become.
Luckily, in the past months, I was privileged to meet new people who I consider as good friends now. Talking to them has helped me in this dark period. The tears could not stop falling the day I finally let the walls break down.
I realized how much good that was for me. As well as how much I missed blogging and writing down my thoughts and feelings. I understand I might just be writing to myself most of the time, but it sure feels good. And I want to start again.